When You're Betrayed

Chris Peterson

De-Friend....no....block....no....just De-Friend and then if I see them talking shit, block....

This was the debate I was having with myself a couple of months ago, over how to deal with someone who I had just found out, had betrayed my trust. 

But this wasn't just some mere acquaintance, this was one of my closest friends. 

This had happened years before and because of how badly I was hurt then, I developed a tier system of friendship, this way only a small select few would be close enough that they could hurt me. Unfortunately this person was in that select few. 

So this obviously throws your entire world out of focus. You start questioning your trust with everyone, you become paranoid and chances are, you will lash out at those who did nothing wrong. Let's just say all three happened in the first day or two. 

If this happens to you, it's going to hurt, a lot. But the important thing to do is let it hurt. You'e got to let the process happen. If you bottle it up and try not to let it bother you, it's going to explode at the wrong time and at the wrong person. So react to it and let it hurt. 

My next suggestion would to remove the person who hurt you, completely out of your life. De-friend them on Facebook, throw out anything that reminds you of them, etc. The less reminders the better. Without these visuals, you'll start to not think of them as often and soon, not at all. 

But in the theatre community, this can be a much harder step, because chances are, you're going to be seeing this person a lot. Either because you'll be involved in the same shows.  have mutual friends or possibly someday have to work directly with them. In these situations, all I can say is that try to avoid it if possible, but if it's not, be as professional as you can. 

My final suggestion would be to find solace with your remaining friends in that close circle. They didn't do anything wrong, that bond, that trust,  that love you have for them is still as true as ever and you're going to value them even more. 

Bumps in the road are going to happen. People are going to hurt you in life. But if you let it hurt and then take the right measures to heal fast, move on and learn from it. You'll be fine. 

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