Only Paris Jackson Can Heal the World

Evan Zelnick

OnStage New York Columnist

Her father did it. He made it a better place. He did it for you, and for me, and also for a chimpanzee named Bubbles. 

But the King of Pop and circumstance is gone now. After he told us we’re not alone and assured us that he’d be there if we just called his name, he beat it from earth and moonwalked himself all the way to the heaven. And now it’s up to his offspring to pick up the pieces.

Paris Michael Katherine Jackson will be 19 next month, meaning she is now an adult with responsibilities to uphold. While she might look like nothing more than a pretty young thing, she could be the antidote to the world’s current maladies-- and I’ll explain why this theory may not be as off the wall as you think.

For someone so young, she’s already survived quite a bit-- the loss of her father, multiple suicide attempts, Auntie LaToya’s stint on “Celebrity Apprentice”-- so we know she’s resilient. She’s got over 50 tattoos enshrined on her body, including a Tinker Bell quote from “Peter Pan”-- proving she’s undeniably fearless.

But what strikes me the most about this pint-sized thriller is that she plans to exact revenge on whoever she believes murdered her father-- which, in my (unsolicited) opinion, is exactly the type of mentality we need more of. Far too many villainous wretches have assumed power positions without consequence, and to say we need a heroine to fight back is not only an understatement-- it’s human nature. 

Look, this is in her blood. Talent, drive, and global influence courses through her veins and it’s time for her to make her voice heard. She could remake some of her father’s greatest hits and reinterpret them for today’s societal grievances, with suggestions including but not limited to “Trans in the Mirror”-- or, in a nod to (not my) president 45, “Bad!”.

I realize this is a lot to put on a mere teenager’s narrow shoulders, but we’ve got to keep hope alive. Monroe Carey Cannon and Blue Ivy Carter are still far too young and have at least a decade before their inevitable domination.

So please, Ms Jackson, consider this more of a request, or rather an appeal. Should push come to shove, will you be there? And also, please know that-- should you wanna be starting something-- we’ll be there to jam and scream with you every step of the way.

Oh, and Paris-- should you accept this challenge and assume the cape of salvation, make sure of one thing: Don’t stop til’ you get enough.