1. No one lets you DJ during road trips
What better way is there to spend your five-hour drive than singing through your favorite musicals in their entirety? Apparently to your friends, a variety of things are more entertaining. “You’re just going to play those dumb songs no one knows the words to,” your friends say. Meanwhile, they’re referencing the newest pop-culture songs, which you’ve never heard because you’ve been too busy listening to the Hamilton soundtrack for the past six months.
2. You’re all too familiar with hearing you have an expensive hobby
“Wicked is on tour! Who wants to get tickets?” you ask your friends. After some mumbling that it would be good to leave the house, they respond, “Wait, they’re how much?” with eyes bulging.
You settle for attending alone, which is fine because they’d probably ruin it for you anyways and say something incredibly offensive, such as, “It wasn’t that good.”
3. Your friends tell you, “It’s all too happy and lovey-dovey.”
Excuse you – have you heard of Les Miserables? Rent? Fiddler on the Roof? Sweeney Todd? …Need the musical fans continue? Yes, many are about love – but don’t be so absurd as to call them “happy”! You attempt to make them sob, playing your favorite tearjerker from Phantom of the Opera, but to no avail.
4. Some of your friends have the audacity to ask, “Lin-who?”
This question is like a stab to the heart. Everyone – from Broadway enthusiasts to people who have never set foot in a theater – has fallen in love with the In the Heights and Hamilton mastermind in the past year. After following Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter you’ve come to believe he is your close personal friend, and are ashamed to be associated with those who don’t recognize his genius.
5. You have no one to discuss the latest theatre news with
You eagerly await the week’s Ham4Ham, but none of your friends are interested in watching with you. “They’re super short and incredibly fascinating!” you say, trying to persuade your friends to educate themselves. But as you’re busy watching Adam Kantor’s latest Motel Citizen, they’re caught up binging “Fuller House”.
Some day you’ll make your friends come around.