‘Twas the night before Christmas, Broadway all alight,
And Aladdin was making three wishes that night.
Anastasia was wishing to know who she is,
And Miss Saigon was wishing she soon would find Chris.
The Children were on break from the School of Rock,
Some went home for A Bronx Tale, played out on their block.
Once On This Island they had tropical fun,
And some later curled up with The Book of Mormon.
At Hamilton’s party, where the music was crunk,
Some unwrapped Kinky Boots, some unwrapped Junk.
Guests at the party had Come From Away,
Like a Meteor Shower that follows a sleigh.
“Hello, Dolly! Would you like a gin and vermouth?”
“Dear Evan Hanson: it’s Christmas, just tell them the truth.”
SpongeBob SquarePants got socks, a Waitress got a gown
The Parisian Woman had picked up out of town.
Farinelli and the Lion King deigned to attend,
But The Band’s Visit was what guests most did not want to end.
From Chicago came Beautiful Cats, and in part
They were there to hear John Lithgow’s Stories By Heart,
But they also came Home For The Holidays
To catch the rock-god Springsteen on Broadway.
When they’d finished the treats from Charlie’s Chocolate Factory,
When they’d hung up the stockings and decorated the tree,
When the Wicked pianist couldn’t play one more song,
When the kids had corrected The Play That Goes Wrong,
When the Morons had learned their Latin History,
And all were ready for the night’s mystery,
Then they slept, in the city that never does that.
All exhausted, they just collapsed where they were at.
Only then were more gifts brought, with quiet, ghostly grace,
By a Phantom in red, with a half-obscured face.