Exploring Theatre Hot Takes: You Don’t Always Have to Be Besties With Your Castmates
by Chris Peterson
Theatre people always have opinions and sometimes those opinions come in hot. Recently, I put out a call on social media asking for your boldest, spiciest theatre takes, and the responses did not disappoint. From thought-provoking critiques to eyebrow-raising declarations, you gave me plenty to chew on.
So here’s what we’re going to do: I’ll be exploring as many of these submissions as I can in this column series. Some I may agree with, others I may not, but that’s the fun of it. Theatre thrives on conversation, and even the most out-there hot take can lead to surprising insights and fascinating discussions.
Think of this as an open forum, where no opinion is too bold to examine. Ready to dive in? Click on the “Exploring Theatre Hot Takes” tag at the bottom to keep up with every installment.
Johnny J. Gordon(Great performer name) left the following comment,
“Cast mates are coworkers. Not automatically your friends. You are not required to be besties with everyone in the show (even though sometimes it feels like you have to). You should be able to work well and get along with them, though. That’s the job.”
I agree. Castmates are coworkers. Not automatically your friends. That may sound blunt, but it’s the truth whether you’re starring on Broadway, working at a community theatre, or putting on a show at your. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone in your cast. You don’t even have to hang out outside of rehearsal. But you do have to respect them, work well with them, and contribute to an environment where the art can thrive. That’s the job.
Theatre often creates the illusion of family. We spend long hours rehearsing, we open ourselves up emotionally onstage, and we share jokes and late-night bonding during tech. Sometimes that really does build lifelong friendships. Some of the closest friends many of us have came from shows. But the danger is in assuming that it has to happen every single time.
When you put the pressure of “family” onto every cast, you set yourself up for disappointment. Not everyone will click. Not everyone is even looking for friendship. Some are there to focus on the work, collect the paycheck, and move on to the next gig. And that is perfectly valid.
What can never be optional, though, is respect. Theatre is collaborative at its core. You can’t do a show alone. You depend on your scene partner to deliver their lines, on your dance partner to hit their marks, and on the crew and stage manager to keep everything running.
That only works when respect is in place. Showing up prepared, listening instead of interrupting, acknowledging the humanity of the people around you even if you wouldn’t grab a drink with them afterward. You don’t have to like everyone, but you owe them professionalism. That’s not just a theatre lesson. That’s a life lesson.
And it doesn’t matter if the stakes are a Tony Award or a school talent show. The principle is exactly the same. Broadway performers may be working under union contracts, but the expectations aren’t all that different from a high school cast list. Everyone has a role to play and everyone deserves to feel safe and respected while doing it.
In fact, it’s often in those early experiences where young performers first bump into this reality. At 16, it can feel personal if your onstage best friend doesn’t become your offstage best friend too. But learning to separate the work from personal life is a crucial skill. You will not love everyone you work with, and you will not be loved by everyone either. And that’s okay.
Now, when real friendships do form, it’s wonderful. Theatre has a special way of breaking down barriers, and sometimes the bonds really do last for decades. Those friendships are gifts. But they should be viewed as bonuses, not requirements. When you let go of the expectation that a cast must become your family, you allow genuine connections to grow naturally. You also give space for people who are more private or reserved to show up professionally without guilt.
Once you strip away the illusion of mandatory friendship, the focus returns to the heart of the work. Can you trust your scene partner to bring truth to the moment? Can you rely on your cast mates to show up prepared and on time? Can you build enough mutual respect that the rehearsal room feels safe and collaborative? If the answer is yes, then the show has what it needs. Friendship is optional. Respect is required.
So the next time you step into rehearsal, remember this. Castmates are coworkers first. That doesn’t mean the experience won’t be fun, or that you won’t find community. It just means you don’t need to force something that isn’t there. Show up with professionalism. Offer respect. Create the kind of environment where trust and artistry can thrive.
Because no matter the level, Broadway or high school, the lesson holds true. Respect is universal. And when respect is the baseline, everything else — trust, artistry, and yes, sometimes even friendship — has the chance to grow naturally.