Local High School Theatre Director Stupefied Broadway Hasn’t Discovered Him Yet
The following article is satire, even though we all have met people like these during our theatre careers
Michael Powers, the theatre instructor for Unionville High School for ten years, held a press conference today expressing amazement that Broadway hasn’t recruited him to direct headline musical acts.
“I have spent ten years teaching high school kids how to sing to the heavens, bringing out world-class productions twice a year. I have generously shared my genius with these amateur actors six days a week, working around nuisances like classes, sports, and homework. I don’t have to sit and direct kids until midnight, but I do out of the kindness and brilliance of my heart. You’d think Broadway would notice by now?”
Powers then spent the next few minutes listing all the musicals he has directed over his career, then ended with the following statement:
“I have directed dramas, musicals, Shakespeare, white shows, diverse shows, shows set all throughout history, heck I pulled off Miss Saigon without a single Asian student auditioning. Tell me, who else could have pulled that off??”
Jennifer Boothe, a high school senior who has acted under Mr. Powers for all four years, was asked if he should indeed have been recruited for Broadway by now:
“Well, he certainly spends a lot of time telling us how great he is and how he should be working with people like Hugh Jackman and Idina Menzel instead of being charitable with us,” said Boothe. “He does like taking our rehearsal time to act as all the characters in the play to show his range. I guess that means he’s a good director?”
Carlos Soto, a freshman who is working with Powers for the very first time, said about Powers:
“A lot of rehearsal is him just telling stories about all the different plays he had starred in his life and how if we were making the mistakes we made in his day, we would all be fired from the cast. He told us how much we should appreciate a man of his talents to be directing us. I don’t know, I’m just doing this because my friends are doing it. I didn’t think I’d have more lectures here than in history class.”
Powers finished the press conference by handing out DVDs of Unionville’s last production, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, which he touts as a “1 of 1” directing performance. He plays for the press a scene where he interrupted the play to replace the Jesus character with himself to finish the musical, followed by him taking the first and last ovation from the crowd.
“Name me another director who could direct and act, and sing, all at the same time??” Powers said. “They know who I am, it’s time for Broadway to step up, the arts need me!”