Ranking All the “Descendants” Movie Soundtrack Songs
Disney announced in March that the hit Disney Channel movie trilogy “Descendants” is now adapted and licensed for schools to perform. We made the case for why schools should put this at the front of their queues when schools resume, and we wanted to rank the songs in the musical, but truth be told, the musical is fairly short on the breadth of songs from the trilogy. Because the musical left off so many good songs, we wanted to get into the entire catalog and rank from best to worst. (we are leaving off Wicked World songs because they are entirely forgettable and not part of the movie trilogy)
Music rankings are tricky because each song hits a person differently, and no two person’s music rank list will look exactly alike. But we approached this objectively as possible, especially with the target audience 6-12 year-old kid in mind.
Without further ado,
THE SKIP ITs
These are songs that you listen to a couple times, and afterwards you skip every time it comes up when you play the album (In Descendants case, if your kid allows you to)
20. “Space Between” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Descendants 2)
19. “My Once Upon a Time” (Dove Cameron, Descendants 3)
18. “If Only” (Dove Cameron, Descendants)
17. “Kiss the Girl” (Dove Cameron, Descendants 2 End Credits)
Ballads are highly represented in the “SKIP IT”s; they never really fit with the tone and tenor of the trilogy, nor did it fit with the song writing team’s skill sets.
THE SPACED OUTs
These are songs that are played, but you are spacing out thinking of other things without regretting it
16. “Queen of Mean” (Sarah Jeffery, Descendants 3)
15. “You and Me” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, Descendants 2)
14. “Be Our Guest” (Mitchell Hope, Spencer Lee, Kala Balch, Marco Marinangeli etc: Descendants)
13. “One Kiss” (Sofia Carson, Descendants 3)
12. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” (China Anne McClain, Bonus Track Descendants 2)
We really appreciate that Descendants, despite being a child of Disney IP, really strove for original music for most of its catalog. That is why to this critic, them remaking “Be Our Guest” in the first Descendants movie was disappointing, as it was a bland remake despite the mild hip/hop remix. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” is a better take from China Anne McClain, but we still would have preferred original lyrics here.
Editor’s Note: We received ALOT of feedback on ranking “Queen of Mean” this low. We address that feedback here. We stand by our ranking.
THE “KEEP IT ON”s
These are songs good enough to play it to the end every time it plays in the album queue
12. “Break This Down” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, Cast, Descendants 3)
11. “Ways to be Wicked” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, Descendants 2))
10. “Evil Like Me” (Kristin Chenoweth, Dove Cameron, Descendants)
9. “Did I Mention” (Mitchell Hope, Spencer Lee)
We put “Evil Like Me” as high as 10 out of respect for the “Queen of Broadway” Kristin Chenoweth, but, if we are being honest, this song is very forgettable. It is the most classical Broadway song out of the entire catalogue; you could throw it in any musical that had an evil character and it would not feel out of place tonally. But it feels out of place in Descendants, and it is very blah lyrically.
Side Note: The character Maleficent was always portrayed as tall, which makes Chenoweth’s casting even more amusing, considering she is 4’10, and she is barely taller than her teenage daughter Mal. We understand if you can get her for a “made for TV” musical role, you have to do it, but maybe they could have given her some lifts like they did for Robert DeNiro in “The Irishman”??
Editor’s Note: We heard from you on this as well, and after further review, we agree “Evil Like Me” belongs a few spots higher. Apologies to Kristin Chenoweth!
THE ALL-STARS
These songs make any playlist with other hit songs from movie musicals.
8. “Set It Off” (Cast, Descendants)
7. “Chillin Like a Villain” (Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, BooBoo Stewart, Mitchell Hope, Descendants 2)
6. “Good to be Bad” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, Descendants 3)
5. “Night Falls” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, China Anne McClain, Descendants 3)
4. “Rotten to The Core” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, Descendants)
We’re big fans of crowd sung choruses like “Set It Off”, and we’re super big fans of dramatic action set pieces like “Night Falls”. Both may be too corny for some, and in any other musical you would be right, but it fits in Descendants, and that matters. I also think we’re going to have “Chillin Like a Villain” higher than most people, but we will rank it lower as soon as we get this damn chorus hook out of our heads in the year 2029.
THE “PLAY IT ON LOOP”s
This is for songs you can’t get enough of once you hear it
3. “It’s Goin’ Down” (Dove Cameron, Sofia Carson, Cameron Boyce, Booboo Stewart, China Anne McClain, Descendants 2)
2. “Do What You Gotta Do” (Dove Cameron, Cheyenne Jackson, Descendants 3)
1. “What’s My Name” (China Anne McClain, Thomas Doherty, Dylan Playfair, Descendants 2)
We really wanted to make “It’s Going Down” #1, because of the unintentional comedy of these kids having a Braveheart style confrontation on the pirate ship combined with Harry Hook twirling his moustache hook in song-form.
But China Anne McClain is in our view the true star of the 2nd and 3rd Installments, and a singer who doesn’t need a production studio to sound good. It’s a joy to listen to her lap up the song material and make it her own, like she does in “What’s My Name”.
Have a song in the Skip List that is on Loop, or vice versa? Let us know in the comments!