Why High School Theatre Needs Intimacy Coordinators

by Chris Peterson

I recently saw a TikTok from a high school actress that has stayed with me. She described a moment during her school’s production of Side Show where, during “Tunnel of Love,” a male co-star crossed physical boundaries that made her feel unsafe. According to her, when she brought it to stage management, nothing was done.

Whether or not someone wants to treat that story as an isolated incident, it points to a much larger issue in school theatre. Too many programs are still handling physical intimacy with little more than “just be professional” and “you’ll be fine.” That is not enough, especially when we are talking about students.

In professional theatre, intimacy direction has become a necessary part of the process when scenes involve physical contact. That does not only mean simulated sex or anything overtly sexual. It can mean a kiss, a hug, sitting on someone’s lap, being held, being touched, or any moment where one actor’s body is involved with another actor’s body in a way that needs consent and structure.

An intimacy coordinator or intimacy director helps create clear boundaries. They choreograph physical moments the same way a fight director choreographs a slap, a fall, or a punch. The goal is not to make the scene less believable. The goal is to make sure the actors know exactly what is supposed to happen every single time.

That kind of clarity protects students. It also gives them better performances because they are not guessing, bracing, or hoping their scene partner remembers where the line is.

This is especially important in high school, where students are still learning how to advocate for themselves. A teenager may not feel comfortable telling a director that a kiss feels wrong, or that a touch was not agreed upon, or that a scene partner is taking liberties. They may worry about being labeled difficult. They may worry about losing a role. They may worry no one will believe them.

That is exactly why the adults in the room need to build safer systems before there is a problem.

Some schools may say they cannot afford an intimacy coordinator. Fair. Budgets are real. But there are still options. Many professionals offer workshops, virtual consultations, sliding-scale rates, or resources specifically for educational theatre. At the very least, directors and stage managers should be trained to discuss consent, set boundaries, document choreography, and respond immediately when a student says something feels unsafe.

No student should have to choose between staying in a show and protecting their own body.

School theatre should teach young artists how to create with trust, respect, and care. If a production includes physical contact, then safety cannot be an afterthought. It has to be part of the rehearsal process from the beginning.