If Your Community Theatre Can’t Afford an Intimacy Coordinator, Are You Ready to Do This Show?

by Chris Peterson

Community theatres make budget choices all the time. They know when a show is too expensive to costume, too big to cast, or too complicated to build. Nobody thinks twice about passing on a musical because the orchestra is too large or the set is beyond what the space can handle.

So why do we treat intimacy differently?

If a show includes sexual intimacy, assault, nudity, or scenes that put actors in physically or emotionally vulnerable positions, the budget conversation has to include more than costumes, royalties, and microphones. If the theatre cannot afford trained support for that work, then it needs to ask whether this is the right show to produce right now.

That may frustrate some people. Especially the director who has wanted to do this play for years, or the board member who thinks the title will sell. But wanting to do a show is not the same as being prepared to handle everything the show asks of the people in it.

Community theatre loves to call itself a family. That word should come with some responsibility. You cannot put people in uncomfortable positions and tell them to “just trust the director,” especially when that director controls casting, blocking, future opportunities, and the general tone of the room. That power imbalance is real, even when nobody means harm.

A quick check-in during rehearsal is not enough. Asking an actor, “Are you comfortable with this?” while everyone waits for the answer can feel less like consent and more like pressure wearing a friendly face. And in community theatre, where actors may be volunteers, teenagers, former students, spouses, friends, or people desperate to belong, that pressure can get messy very quickly.

This does not mean every staged kiss needs a massive process. It means theatres should be honest about what the material requires before they announce the season. If intimacy is central to the story, then the support for staging it safely should be part of the planning from the beginning. If that support is out of reach, there are plenty of other shows.

Theatre people talk a lot about bravery. Sometimes the braver choice is admitting your company is not ready for the show it wants to do.

That may disappoint a few people. It may even cost the theatre a title it was excited about.

Protecting actors is worth that.