When Straight Actors Play Gay Characters, Respect Has to Come First

Ethan Jih-Cook playing Damian in the National Tour of Mean Girls (Jenny Anderson)

by Chris Peterson

A theatre question popped up on Reddit.

A queer woman directing Mean Girls said her actor playing Damian is a straight cis man. They were trying to approach the role without turning him into gay stereotypes.

Good. That is the conversation they should be having.

Damian is one of the most quoted characters in Mean Girls. He is funny. Loud. Theatrical. And yes, one of his most famous lines is that he is “too gay to function.” So it makes sense that a straight actor would ask, “How do I do this without making gayness the whole joke?”

That question deserves a real answer.

Some people believe straight actors should not play gay characters. Queer actors are still overlooked for roles that reflect their lived experiences. Representation is also about who gets cast and who gets paid.

So yes, casting matters.

But straight actors are still cast in queer roles, especially in schools, community theatres, regional productions, and tours. Once that happens, the responsibility becomes simple.

Do the work.

I say that as a straight actor who has played gay characters before. The job is not to ask, “How do I act gay?” Ask, “Who is this person?”

What does Damian want? What makes him feel safe? Why does he use humor? Why is he loyal to Janis? What is he trying to survive?

Damian is not just “the gay one.” He is a teenager. A friend. A performer in his own head. Someone who learned to be funny before other people could make him feel small.

That is where the role lives.

The danger comes when an actor builds the performance out of signals instead of choices. A hand gesture. A vocal affectation. A constant reminder that this character is gay.

Queer audiences especially can feel that.

With Damian, the laugh should come from timing, intelligence, confidence, loyalty, and high school absurdity. It should not come from asking the audience to laugh at gayness itself.

So what should a straight actor do?

Listen. Talk with the director. Listen to queer people in the room if they are willing to offer feedback. Do not make them responsible for fixing the whole performance.

Watch your instincts. If a choice feels borrowed from a bad sitcom, cut it. If every moment has to announce Damian’s sexuality, pull back.

Let the writing do its job. Let the character’s brain do the work.

Damian should still be big. He should still be dramatic. But a good Damian is specific. A lazy Damian is a collection of clichés.

The goal should never be for the audience to leave thinking, “Wow, that straight actor really played gay.”

The goal is simpler.

They should believe Damian.

Because “too gay to function” may be the joke people remember.

It is not the whole person.