The Loudest Person in the Rehearsal Room Isn't Always Right

Hannah Crawford, OnStage Blog Columnist

Often, we equate loudness with who is right. It could just be the confidence the loud person has compared to the quiet person in the corner. But, it doesn’t mean the louder voice is the one we should listen to.

Theatre definitely has no shortage of “big personalities.”

I think this is the beauty of the stage, is that it allows for those large personalities that otherwise might be too much for other social situations. The theatre attracts some of the most wonderfully loud, outgoing, and opinionated people out there. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that.

But somewhere along the way we confuse “loudness” with someone who can lead and is always right, and that’s not necessarily true. We have to understand that volume and confidence are very different from being knowledgeable. 

Being Loud Doesn’t Automatically Equal Leadership 

Leadership in theatre can look like the director commanding the room. They aren’t afraid to speak up, share their opinion, fix a problem, diffuse some drama, or deal with last-minute back-outs. 

But leadership can also look like a stage manager quietly keeping everything organized and on track. That sharp look a stage manager can provide during rehearsals, which immediately gets actors to zip up and pay attention, also looks like leadership and respect for the group. 

Leadership is not necessarily something you hear – it’s something that you’ll notice.

Pay Attention to the Person Who Hasn't Spoken Yet

I’m sure at some point in your life, you’ve either said or heard someone say, “It’s always the quiet ones.” We say this because I think it surprises us when the quiet ones finally speak up or “take charge.” 

I’ve known many people and artists who are quieter and easily get overlooked because of that. Louder personalities tend to just naturally fill the space. 

If I am being transparent, I’d have to share that I have a loud personality. When I walk into a room professionally, I’m not afraid to speak my mind and “command a room's attention.” But, far too often, I am hyper-aware of those who are quieter – not because they have nothing to say, but because sometimes we big personalities don’t know when to shut up and hand the floor over. 

Our directors and theatre leaders need to intentionally make room for people who don’t immediately jump into the conversations. The ones who don’t offer their opinion when the room is asked for any feedback. 

Someone taking time to listen and process shouldn't be mistaken for someone who has nothing to contribute.

Those Who Speak Less Often Listen More

Outside of theatre, I work in healthcare. I lead our employee engagement committee, which meets every few weeks. I have two girls in this group; let’s call them Ashley and Jen. Ashley has a very loud personality and never struggles to make her opinion known. Jen is a quiet observer who tends not to talk as much. 

I noticed that in meetings, Ashley talked so much that there was little room for others to contribute their two cents, especially Jen. So, in one meeting, I interrupted Ashley and said, “Okay, let’s give others time to contribute their feedback.” And I pointedly asked Jen for her opinion on the matter. 

I was slightly surprised to see what good feedback Jen had. So good, in fact, that the whole group voted, and we actually ended up going with her idea over everyone else's. 

Was Ashley butt-hurt when I said that? Yes, she was, and it was obvious. But that’s a learning opportunity for her to learn the importance of ensuring we aren’t drowning out others' voices. 

We have a lot we can learn from the quiet ones in the theatre. They just aren’t in a rush to speak up.

Good Leaders Know When to Shut Up and Listen

As I shared before, sometimes we in leadership roles in theatre just don’t know when to shut up and listen. Personally, I fill the space because I find silence awkward. So, if no one is talking or sharing their opinion, then I take charge. The problem with that can be, though, that when you do it so much, people naturally know there isn’t room for them. 

Leadership also isn't proving you're the smartest person in the rehearsal room. A good director should be able to say, "I hadn't thought about that." A good leader knows when someone else understands something better than they do. 

I’m in a book club, and we’re going through Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. And today, one of the book club members pointed out that they wished more leaders could stand up and admit when they didn’t know something. Or to admit they have room to grow in “x area”. None of us has arrived, and that includes those who tend to be the loud voices in the room.

A good side note to this is: watch out for the red flags in the theatre for directors and leaders who surround themselves only with people who think as they do. News flash, no one is ever 100% right. We are no exception to that.

Making Room for Us All

I’m not here saying we need to get rid of the big personalities. Otherwise, I’d be dismissing myself. I’m not saying that loud people need to be quieter and quiet people need to get louder. 

I’m saying we need to stop equating volume with the value one might bring to the stage. 

We need the big personalities just as much as we need the small ones. Think of it like the Chinese philosophical concept of the yin and yang. It’s all about balance in life. We all need one another, so we need to leave room for each other to speak up.

Sure, the loud voice is the one that you’ll likely hear, but it doesn’t mean it’s the only one you should listen to.